There are many ways to celebrate family caregivers and to take action and communicate the important messages of NFC Month. The following are ideas and guides to help you create a successful National Family Caregivers Month in your community:

Offer a few hours of respite time [...]]]> Top 10 Ways to Celebrate National Family Caregivers Month

There are many ways to celebrate family caregivers and to take action and communicate the important messages of NFC Month. The following are ideas and guides to help you create a successful National Family Caregivers Month in your community:

1. Offer a few hours of respite time to a family caregiver so they spend time with friends, or simply relax.

2. Send a card of appreciation or a bouquet of flowers to brighten up a family caregiver’s day.

3. Encourage local businesses to offer a free service for family caregivers through the month of November.

4. Participate in the National Family Caregivers Association’s FREE national teleclass: Safe & Sound: How to Prevent Medication Mishaps For more information visit www.thefamilycaregiver.org.

5. Help a family caregiver decorate their home for the holidays or offer to address envelopes for their holiday cards.

6. Offer comic relief! Purchase tickets to a local comedy club, give a family caregiver your favorite funny movie to view, or provide them an amusing audio book to listen to while doing their caregiving activities.

7. Find 12 different family photos and have a copy center create a monthly calendar that the family caregiver can use to keep track of appointments and events.

8. Offer to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for a caregiving family in your community, so they can just relax and enjoy the holiday.

9. A United States postage stamp honoring the more than 50 million family caregivers in America is officially “under consideration” by the U.S. Citizens Stamp Advisory Committee for introduction as early as 2011. Sign the petition at www.thefamilycaregiver.org and ask others to sign the petition letter.

10. Help a family caregiver find information and resources on the internet or to locate a local support group.

Caregiving results in major changes in a family: physical, emotional, social and financial issues can arise. It changes the roles, responsibilities and feelings within the family, which can lead to tension and fighting.

Caregivers in the AgingCare.com community frequently support each other with “tricks of the trade” when it comes to effective [...]]]>

From AgingCare.com

Caregiving results in major changes in a family: physical, emotional, social and financial issues can arise. It changes the roles, responsibilities and feelings within the family, which can lead to tension and fighting.

Caregivers in the AgingCare.com community frequently support each other with “tricks of the trade” when it comes to effective communication with elderly parents.

We would like to share this knowledge, gained from caregiving day-in and day-out, with you. It doesn’t always work, and it won’t be easy, but we hope it helps you to cope and try to maintain or repair family relationships – and help you keep your sanity during your caregiving journey!

Don’t give advice to your elderly parent unless it’s asked for.

Parents have advised their children their whole lives, so hearing advice from a child – albeit an adult child – might not go over so well. That role reversal is hard on the parent.

Therefore, giving advice is best avoided unless you are sure it has been asked for. It is generally better to let an outside person be the advisor. You can encourage and provide support, without doling out advise.

Listen to what your elderly parent is saying.

Really listen. Listen to what the person is saying. Don’t interrupt or try to fill in the silence. A period of silence could mean your family member is contemplating a response, thinking through the conversation and how to reply. Listening goes both ways, so try to determine that the person is hearing what you say.

Accept differences of opinions.

No matter how close a family is, and despite the dynamics involved, everyone is not going to agree all of the time. There is sure to be differences of opinions. Respect the opinions of others; don’t disregard them. Listen to all sides, and make a decision together when possible.

Continue reading Seven ways to talk with your elderly parents

A 2004 study commissioned by the AARP and other organizations estimated that caregiving is more stressful on women, who make up more than six in 10 caregivers: 40 percent said caregiving stressed them at high levels, compared to just 26 [...]]]> An estimated 44 million adults in the United States provide unpaid care to another adult.

A 2004 study commissioned by the AARP and other organizations estimated that caregiving is more stressful on women, who make up more than six in 10 caregivers: 40 percent said caregiving stressed them at high levels, compared to just 26 percent of men.

“Adult daughters place greater emphasis on their relationships with their parents, and when those relationships go awry, it takes a worse toll on the adult daughters than the adult sons,” said review author Marina Bastawrous, a graduate student at the University of Toronto.

Read more from the article at U.S. News and World Report.

“My mother is driving me crazy!” This phrase is uttered (or screamed) by caregivers everywhere who are caring for elderly parents.

As if they didn’t have enough to do, caregivers often have to deal with bad behavior by their elderly parents. The AgingCare.com message boards are filled [...]]]> How to handle an elderly parent’s bad behavior

“My mother is driving me crazy!” This phrase is uttered (or screamed) by caregivers everywhere who are caring for elderly parents.

As if they didn’t have enough to do, caregivers often have to deal with bad behavior by their elderly parents. The AgingCare.com message boards are filled with stories of demanding elderly parents, personality changes, hallucinations, temper tantrums…even abuse.

We’ve compiled the top 10 bad behaviors that elderly parents exhibit, along with some tips for coping with them.

Bad behavior #1: Rage, anger, yelling
Age and illness can intensify longstanding personality traits in some unpleasant ways: An irritable person may become enraged, an impatient person demanding and impossible to please. Unfortunately, the person taking care of the elderly parent is often the target.

What to do:
Try to identify the cause of the anger. In most elderly individuals, behaviors are a symptom of distress.

The aging process in and of itself sometimes brings about anger, as seniors vent frustration about getting old, having chronic pain, losing friends, having memory issues, being incontinent – all of the undignified things that can happen to us as we age.

In addition, Alzheimer’s disease and dementia can also cause these behaviors, in which case, your parent doesn’t have control.

As a caregiver, the best thing you can do is not take it personally. Focus on the positive, ignore the negative, and take a break from caregiving when you can. Get some fresh air, do something you love or call a friend.

You might also want to consider calling in a home health nurse. Elders often reserve their worst behavior for those they are closest to, i.e. family members. The bad behavior might not surface in front of a stranger. And you get a much-need break.

Read 9 more tips from AgingCare.com.

More than 40 percent of baby boomers who have a living parent are helping with their care.* Whether health or financial problems, or literally “giving back,” millions of adults are assisting their parents with monetary support. Many also are raising children or supporting their [...]]]> Sandwich Generation Feeling the Squeeze of Supporting Elderly Parents, Boomerang Kids

More than 40 percent of baby boomers who have a living parent are helping with their care.* Whether health or financial problems, or literally “giving back,” millions of adults are assisting their parents with monetary support. Many also are raising children or supporting their Generation Y children, making them part of the sandwich generation.

The sandwich generation may find relief in the form of tax breaks. The $3,650 qualifying relative exemption can help buffer expenses related with supporting parents. Non-relative qualifying dependents also may allow supporters to claim expenses associated with their care. The eligible expenses include food, lodging, clothing, education, medical and dental care, recreation and transportation.

To read about qualifications, visit http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/articles/marketwire/0592795.htm

Instead of putting seniors in nursing homes because they need care, the care is being brought to them, at home.

They don’t need doctors or nurses, but they do need assistance with meal preparation, medication, cleaning, and  so on.

And Medicare is paying [...]]]> The “Big Idea” is finally making its way through Medicare in Florida.

Instead of putting seniors in nursing homes because they need care, the care is being brought to them, at home.

They don’t need doctors or nurses, but they do need assistance with meal preparation, medication, cleaning, and  so on.

And Medicare is paying for it.

And saving $$$.

It costs $48,000 per year to maintain a person in a nursing home.  It costs only $18,000 per year to assist them with living at home, for a savings of $30,000 per person, per year.

Watch more about the Big Idea — some would say Common Sense Idea — in the video below.

As a result, millions are and will be grappling with the question: how will we respond when a loved one grows too fragile to live alone?

In WHEN [...]]]> Thirty-four million Americans provide care for a frail, aging family member. This number is likely to increase dramatically as the nations seventy-seven million Baby Boomers age.

As a result, millions are and will be grappling with the question: how will we respond when a loved one grows too fragile to live alone?

In WHEN THE TIME COMES, veteran journalist Paula Span shares the stories of several families confronting this painful question as they struggle to choose from a host of options, from multigenerational living or home care to assisted living, nursing facilities, or hospice.

Rich with moving portraits, practical information, and the comfort that comes with finding the best solution, the book is essential reading that can help families navigate the tough times so they can focus on the joyful ones.

Paula Span is a contributing writer for the Washington Post Magazine and teaches journalism at Columbia University. A staff writer for the Washington Post for many years, Span has written for numerous publications, including the and many others.