How to handle an elderly parent’s bad behavior
“My mother is driving me crazy!” This phrase is uttered (or screamed) by caregivers everywhere who are caring for elderly parents.
As if they didn’t have enough to do, caregivers often have to deal with bad behavior by their elderly parents. The AgingCare.com message boards are filled with stories of demanding elderly parents, personality changes, hallucinations, temper tantrums…even abuse.
We’ve compiled the top 10 bad behaviors that elderly parents exhibit, along with some tips for coping with them.
Bad behavior #1: Rage, anger, yelling
Age and illness can intensify longstanding personality traits in some unpleasant ways: An irritable person may become enraged, an impatient person demanding and impossible to please. Unfortunately, the person taking care of the elderly parent is often the target.
What to do:
Try to identify the cause of the anger. In most elderly individuals, behaviors are a symptom of distress.
The aging process in and of itself sometimes brings about anger, as seniors vent frustration about getting old, having chronic pain, losing friends, having memory issues, being incontinent – all of the undignified things that can happen to us as we age.
In addition, Alzheimer’s disease and dementia can also cause these behaviors, in which case, your parent doesn’t have control.
As a caregiver, the best thing you can do is not take it personally. Focus on the positive, ignore the negative, and take a break from caregiving when you can. Get some fresh air, do something you love or call a friend.
You might also want to consider calling in a home health nurse. Elders often reserve their worst behavior for those they are closest to, i.e. family members. The bad behavior might not surface in front of a stranger. And you get a much-need break.
Elderly people often get angry when their independence is taken away. Medical alarms are one way they can stay safe yet independent.